Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Still Attemptin

Well I did not post last week. Mostly because I gained back all the weight that I lost. This week unfortunately does not look a whole lot better. It is 10:42 pm and way past my bed time. I could not sleep I am all worked up. I saw Cory ( the therapist) today. She was quite encouraging and it was a good hour. I also Patty (the medication lady) and we are going to try some new meds. The question is when will I have time to even fill my prescription. For the last several days I have been working on some homework for a school class. All of the work has to do with Excel right now and regarding most of it I have no idea what it is about. I think the reason I am having a hard time falling asleep is because I will be tested on it tomorrow and I don't look forward to it at all. I was laying in bed crying. Why? Probably because by the end of the day or week I feel everything catching up with me. School, work, internship, life, love, and therapy. I pray that when December 9, rolls around I will have less anxiety. I know it won't all go away, but I hope some does because I don't know if I can handle this anymore. One stress is gone a bit. At work they hired a new girl for the mornings. She will more than likely start full time next week. I am excited. One monkey off of my back for 5 minutes. If I can ever get to bed I asked Mike if we can wake up and do Walk Away The Pounds in the morning. I need to do at least 30 minutes 2 times a day with the amount of food I eat. He did say yes, but he mentioned that when we were successful 4 years ago we did it every day and some how found time when he had to commute to work. I guess just like reading the Book of Mormon, praying, and other things we do every day we need to make exercise a priority. I wish I did not feel so down and discouraged and most of all tired. I wish that when I woke up I was rested and after I exercise I feel invigorated. No such luck, but that has never been the case. Well time to weigh in is just about 48 hours away. I am glad I go with someone because I don't know if I can handle the let down. All the people I go with or who I know are going are quite successful. I really need to use them as a motivator. I stepped on the scale right before bed and it did not tell me happy news. All I can say is tomorrow is a new day and all I need to do is keep trying. It won't get better unless I make an attempt to change. Lets cross our fingers.
Good Night Everyone!

3 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Don't let a scale determine your life's happiness. 3 numbers mean nothing - it's what's inside that counts. Be happy with yourself from the inside out...

Toby said...

You know what I did when I couldn't "find the time" to excercise? I treated myself to an MP3 player so I could listen to music while excercising. After spending $200 on the MP3 player, I was more motivated to excercise. After all, I couldn't let my money go to waste...