Why does a skin color really have to matter?
This blog is an ongoing love letter to our children, their birthmothers, their grandparents on both sides of the continent, and our extended family and friends.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A Sad Thought
As some of you may or may not know we have decided to start the adoption process, again. The second time around is different, which has pluses and minuses. This time they are having us do a lot of the work on the Internet, which has been interesting. One part of the form you are to fill out is about different races that you would or would not be interested in adopting. We have made our choice and have sent it on. But our choices have really got me thinking. Maybe it has to do with Black History Month, maybe it is because we took our friend Gina to the Henry Ford Museum and we saw the Rosa Parks bus and we talked about racism. (Yes, it is still alive today.)It could also be that on Friday night we saw bright lights outside our windows and being a bit nosy I looked out my window at 11:30 pm and saw three white cops talking to a black man on the sidewalk in front of our house. During my spying time they put him in handcuffs and by the end he was released. I thought of all the possible things that they could be saying to him. I didn't feel comfortable with any of the things that I could be happening to that man. Why does it really matter the race of the child we adopt? Why should we have to answer the hard questions and not just take a newborn into our arms and homes and give it everything that birth family is not able to give it?
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3 comments:
It doesn't have to matter to you but you have to be prepared for the ignorant and sometimes well meaning comments from others. We did not specify any race because we had faith that the Lord would send the spirit to our home that was meant there, no matter their outer coating. We also didn't specify gender for the same reason. Before Evan we were actually chosen for an African American little girl and I purposly was vague on her race as I didn't want that to be what others felt immediately drawn to talk about. They would have been surprised that I never mentioned it but also I hoped it would set a precidence that they wouldn't feel it neccessary to point out themselves all the time. It's obvious what race she is but do I have to identify that I'm caucasion all the time? It's just dumb. Anyway, Congrats on your decision to go for it again. We are soo ready ourselves, right now and plan to get it all together as soon as we are allowed. (Is it when they are a year old or have been finalized for 1 year? do you know?). I think your letter and blog are great, I hope you don't have to wait long. I hear about babies all the time and would love if you gave me what you are open to so I can keep you in mind the next time I hear of a baby. :)
It will always matter. It is who they are. The difference comes in the love you teach them to have for themselves. I know that some days they will cry in my arms, but I pray daily for the correct words to teach them so that they can grow. I am so blessed to have my babies. Micah
you're such a beautiful person and I'm sure an excellent mother. I pray another child comes your way soon.
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